Rabbi Marc D. Rudolph

In this week’s Torah reading, Aaron and his four sons are ordained as be priests. This must have been a glorious day for them, and for Aaron’s wife, who no doubt was bursting with pride to see her husband and sons take up the mantle of religious leadership for the People of Israel. But suddenly, tragedy strikes. The two younger sons die suddenly when they approach the sanctuary with an unauthorized offering to God. A day of joy is turned into a day of mourning. (Leviticus 10)

Perhaps many of us have experienced that kind of sudden and unexpected loss. One day a person is with us, and the next day they are gone. It is said that Jacob was the first person in the Bible to fall ill (Genesis 48:1). The deaths of all the patriarchs and matriarchs are announced, but we never hear that they fell ill. But Joseph is told, “Your father is sick,” and he hurries to his bedside. The rabbis note that Jacob’s illness was a gift from God. How so? Jacob was able to say goodbye to his family. He was able to give them a final blessing. He was able to share some last moments with them, knowing that they would be his last moments. His loved ones were able to prepare themselves, as best they could, for his leaving them. For those whose loved ones die suddenly there is no time for saying goodbye, no preparation for the profound loss that they experience.

Here is a poem by Robin Fox which I found in The Torah: A Women’s Commentary (URJ Press New York 2008)

For the Last Time

How do you know when it’s the last time? /The last time to ask “How are you? /How was your day? /The last time to say/ “I love you./ Good night….. sweet dreams.

You don’t/ And so you must reach out/with love and compassion/ at every opportunity/ to show those who love you/ that you care/ you love/ and need to be needed…../ in a world where you suddenly find yourself/ alone once again/ in an achingly painful way/ because someone you love/ has left you behind/ to seek your own paths/ and truths/ in an uncertain place.

The only thing certain/ is that you are not truly alone/ because of those who do love you/ and for that be thankful/ and grateful/ and feel blessed/ that you were able to say/ “Good night … I love you/ One last time.

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